The Most Genuine Farewell

“To my colleagues who may read this, thank you so much for your kindness. Thank you for opening your home up for my farewell and for the amazing cheesecake. Thank you to my colleague who gave the most heartfelt speech. You’ll never know how much it truly meant to me. To my previous supervisor, you were the best, and I hope I get to work with you again. To all of my colleagues, I miss you terribly — which is a reflection of how much of an impact you’ve had on me professionally and personally. Thank you for everything.”

It’s been three and a half weeks since I left my old job. This is just so hard for me to believe. Time has flown by exponentially. When I was offered my new role I was so excited, and I couldn’t believe it. I had been in my current position for over 16 years; I never thought I would leave. I was prompted when one of the best supervisors was offered another opportunity. I couldn’t imagine life in the office without her, and I began to be weary of office politics so I decided to move on. My colleague with whom I shared a portfolio congratulated me and asked what I wanted for my farewell.

I decided that I didn’t want anything. I told him I thought any farewell would be fake. We had several farewells over the past few months, and I didn’t want a recycled speech from current management. After all, they had only known me for under a year, and really hadn’t worked with me at all. What would they actually say? I told my colleague, I was fine having lunch with our typical lunch crowd for a goodbye. I didn’t need anything fancy. I was happy just being with some of my closest colleagues. Little did I know a weekend event was being planned for me.

My colleagues asked me to attend a barbecue. I was so excited! I wasn’t sure if I would be able to attend at first, but things worked out. I was able to tell my friends that I could make it. It was so nice to be with them and meet their families. My colleague that I worked directly with bought me beautiful red flowers (does anyone know what they were called?), but red is my favorite color so they were absolutely perfect. I wasn’t expecting that. We had great food and conversation. I was by all accounts very happy. Then, later on, I decided I should leave. I was ready to go, and I didn’t want to leave too late because I was not familiar with the neighborhood and wanted to get a head start while there was still daylight. They told me, I couldn’t leave before dessert. So, I decided to stay. Our fellow colleagues, my old supervisor, and family members all gathered in the kitchen.

While I was standing there my colleague showed me this picture of a fist bump, and on the back was a nice note from my previous supervisor (who was also there), and signatures from all my fellow colleagues. I thought it was so cool. It’s symbolic because he gave me a fist bump after I made the announcement, that I was going to leave at one of our team meetings. There were two sticks on it, so he could place it in the rich chocolate cheesecake that a former colleague had made. Then he started to speak. I was in awe, as he talked about how I came to work with him on the portfolio, and the level of appreciation and respect he had for the work I did. It was by far the most genuine speech at a farewell that I ever had during my whole career in my organization. I have moved from office to office for over 20 years, and I never received anything so sincere and genuine. Not ever.

I don’t think I even knew what to do with myself after that. My heart was so full. I told him that I didn’t want anything fake, and he (along with colleagues) made sure to give me the most genuine farewell ever. Nothing fake about it. I was able to surround myself with the colleagues I cherished, was given the most amazing speech, and to top it off, can we talk about the cheesecake (amazingly rich and chocolate)?! I shared this story with my friends (outside the office), because I felt so much joy afterwards. That whole weekend into my final days in my old office were filled with so much love! I always doubt myself and my ability to do anything. I always worry about making mistakes, and sometimes I feel like I am just wasting space or taking up air. Knowing that I made an impact in that office, and that it mattered just means the world to me.

It feels amazing to be appreciated. I hope that someone in your life (whether it’s work, school, church or your own home) tells you how much you are appreciated. I hope they tell you how much you mean to them, or how much it means to them that you did something impactful for them. It truly is the most awesome feeling. May you have the most genuine experiences that leave you with joy and your heart feeling full.

The Impact of Passion

During the end of March, I had to take a leadership course for my organization. This course was mandatory after you reached a certain level in the organization, and I had just received a promotion. I had finally reached that level. At the beginning of the course, we were told that we were going to have to create our own leadership philosophy. We had to use a style called Pecha Kucha, which is a Japanese style technique of presenting. It is essentially a Power Point presentation with no words present on the slides. You could only use pictures to describe what you would be speaking about. I was delighted when the instructor said that we could create a Haiku or do performance art. Essentially, we were allowed to be creative. That is not something you have the luxury of doing at work, so I was excited. A haiku was too short for what I wanted to do, so I decided to write a full-length poem.

When I was involved in another leadership program, I had the opportunity to shadow someone in a top leadership position. The one thing that she instilled in me was that she could not do her job without people. People are what make a leader great. They help them do their job more effectively. Pulling from that experience I decided to make my poem about the importance of people in leadership. This poem spoke to looking out for people, working with them, and solving issues together. That was basically the gist of it. I wrote this poem earlier in the training, and then went over it every day to make sure it was perfect. Each student’s presentation had to be 4-6 minutes, so I was also practicing my timing. I didn’t want to go over or under. I was excited when I finalized everything. We had a sign-up sheet put out the day before, and I signed up to be number four. I didn’t want to be first, but I didn’t want to wait too long. I knew my nerves would get the best of me.

When it was time to get up, I recited my poem (along with an opening and conclusion for the presentation). I heard the affirming responses from the audience and was surprised by the effect it was having. But I was in awe at the end, when people came up to me and told me how much it meant to them. Apparently, my poem about the importance of people to a leadership role had a bigger impact than I had intended. I thought I was simple completing a project. I never thought that people would find it comforting, or that they would even like it. I have always loved writing, but I have also doubted my ability to write well. I worried whether it would be good enough. Will people like it? Does it make sense? This experience gave me the answer I needed.

Most of us are passionate about something we would love to do, but fear can paralyze you into not doing it. I never thought my poetry was the best, but something in that leadership philosophy poem resonated with my classmates. Maybe it was something they needed to hear at that time and moment. Your passion could be something that someone needs. It could be something that makes the world a better place. They will miss out on it if you hold it back. Even as I write to you, I still have my doubts. I still have my fears. Can I make it work? I’m not sure how it will all come together, but I’ve decided that I am going to at least try. Go for whatever you are passionate about. You may just help someone with something you didn’t know they needed.

Appreciation for New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day have never been an exciting time for me. I have always thought they were a bit boring in comparison to Christmas. Yes, I know it’s a bit early for some to be talking about Christmas now. I can almost hear the jeers in the background now. “Can we get through Halloween and Thanksgiving first!” I see it every year in my Facebook timeline. People are upset that they see and hear about Christmas before we even reach December. I’m the opposite of people who feel that way. Christmas is my favorite holiday! I’m perfectly fine with seeing the Christmas displays in September, and the deals that you can find during retail’s Christmas in July sales. As we get closer to the end of November, the home displays start to go up. The beauty of colorful lights are everywhere. There are Christmas plays, concerts, and markets where you can find amazing gift ideas. The minute December first hits, I’m instantly playing my Christmas music. I’m looking out for all the Christmas movies and specials. It’s just enough to get you in the Christmas spirit. It’s truly a happy time for me. I love writing out Christmas cards and picking out the perfect gifts. When all the excitement of the 25th is over, I feel somewhat sad. All the fun and excitement are all over.

I never understood why people were so excited about New Year’s holiday. After all the fun of Christmas, what was so exciting about New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day? Sure I would go through the motions of saying happy new year. I even had traditions that I would participate in with family. Then I would set my goals and write down my resolutions, but to me it was just a boring holiday. It couldn’t compare to all the joy of Christmas. But as I get older I see things differently. Living through a pandemic changes your perspective. I don’t think I have to tell you how rough of a year 2020 was, because we all went through it together. Seeing death literally in every part of the world, and your own country can change the way you see things. When I celebrated New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day I walked into the new year grateful. Walking into 2021 was a true gift. I lived through a rough time, but I survived to see another year. I got to live another day with the possibility of experiencing an entire new year.

We’re into year two of the pandemic. Miraculously I’m still here. While I’m still excited about celebrating Christmas, I’m equally excited about opening the doors to 2022. While 2021 is not without it’s challenges, it was a year of blessings for me. I am thankful for every single one of them, but most importantly I’m glad I lived to experience them. Every single day we get to walk this earth is a blessing. We shouldn’t take it for granted. If I make it to New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day again, it will be just as special as any other holiday. It will be special because I survived another pandemic year. There are a lot of people who didn’t make it out of 2020, and there are others who won’t see 2022. If you’ve been given another year at life, celebrate it like it’s your favorite holiday.

Give Yourself A Chance

How many times have you walked into a new opportunity, job or venture worried that you wouldn’t succeed? I have done that throughout my life. In my mind everything is difficult, until I actually sit down an attempt the task at hand. When I started my current job, there were a lot of moving parts to learn. I didn’t think I would ever understand what and how to do all those tasks, but they soon became second nature to me. As you take the time to learn and practice a skill, it becomes much easier to you. If you’re still in the same position years later, you most likely have become the subject matter expert. Now everyone is coming to you for advice and guidance.

Just recently I had been given a new portfolio. It came from out of the blue, and I began to worry. I thought to myself, I can’t do it. As I was being trained, I became overwhelmed with feelings of defeat. There were so many steps, and so many things to remember. I was worried that I would let my supervisor down and fail. A couple of months later, I started to get accolades from my colleague, about the work I had been doing. While I was flattered, I didn’t want to accept any praises just yet. My fear was that I would become too confident, and start to make mistakes. I didn’t want that. Every day I’m feeling a little more confident in the work that I do, but I am also still learning. I try to give myself some grace. Celebrate the wins when you get them, but don’t ever stop learning. Most importantly believe that you can do whatever you set your mind to do. All of us are capable of doing great things, if we put our minds to it.

Don’t walk into a business, job or situation and automatically think you can’t do it. Commit to do the best that you can, ask all the questions you need to get pertinent information, and then apply that to your everyday tasks. Give yourself a chance at learning that new job, succeeding, or starting and maintaining a new business. Believe that you can do it, and that you are fully capable of doing it. I found the most perfect quote today. It simply said “Self confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.”-Oscar Auliq Ice. This statement rang true to me. Whenever I have become more confident in my work, I feel like I can do anything. It’s when you put your best foot forward. Think about anyone in any field. The best of the best do really well at what they were meant to do. Some people like musicians and actors practice until it’s perfect. An artist can usually knock a painting out at the first try. Have you ever seen an artist paint on stage, and complete a masterpiece? I have and I am in awe of them. That is a major talent.

Even as I write to you now, I feel like there is more to learn and accomplish in writing. I can’t say that I get these post right on the first try. I will write whatever is in my mind and my heart, just to get it on paper. At that time, I don’t worry about mistakes. Afterwards, I’ll go back and read it over for mistakes. I’ll make all the edits that I do catch, and then post it. When I started this blog, I was unsure of where I was going with it. I’ve seen many blogs where people know exactly what theme they will be discussing. I didn’t exactly know where to go with mine. I’m still figuring it out. But the one thing that I knew I had to do, was to continue to write. I have every confidence, that I am suppose to do that. But I can’t become an amazing writer overnight. I have to practice. I have to make the effort to write frequently if I am going to become good at what I think I was meant to do.

Sometimes things seem impossible to achieve. When you look at it from a distance, it seems impossible. Take it from someone whose been through those moments. You can do it. It only seems that way at first, because it’s something different from what you are used to. If you take the time to learn a craft, profession or business, there is always the chance (especially if you’re focused and hard working) that you will be amazing! Be self confident and believe in you!

Birthdays

I love celebrating birthdays. When I was young it was always exciting to go to or have a birthday party. There were balloons, ice cream and cake and of course presents! When you went to someone else’s party, sometimes they would give out goodie bags filled with toys and candy. Those were good times!

As I got older, I noticed that some people aren’t as excited to celebrate. For some it’s hard to wrap their mind around getting older, for some it could be other reasons. Maybe things have happened over time that make them less excited to celebrate their special day. For purposes of this post, I’m going to talk about getting older.

Prior to the pandemic, I would still get excited for my birthday to come. I would plan out the whole entire day. I had minor thoughts about getting older, but it never stopped me from celebrating. Other people I would come across would celebrate the whole month, but there were a few who didn’t even want them to know the day they were born. The thought of getting older just paralyzed them. I would hear people say they stopped counting after a certain age. I didn’t quite understand it. I understand wanting to stay young, but I also know it’s a blessing to appreciate each year we are given.

When the pandemic started, all my birthday plans were canceled. I was disappointed but knew it was necessary. I’m sure this is the story for most if not all people. As the first birthday passed, everything changed for the world. It definitely changed for me. Hearing about death more often than usual was overwhelming and sad. It made me remember to be more thankful for every day that I have on earth.

Instead of looking at your birthday as a day you become older, look at it as another day that you survived a pandemic. Look at it as another year of life, and another day to be grateful. It’s another amazing year to pursue your dreams, and accomplish your goals. With all that has and is going on in the world, you’re still here!

In a previous post, I mentioned how someone asked me to smile because I was in the land of the living (pre-pandemic). That woman’s words echo through me today. At that time I thought to myself, you’re right. But I appreciate that statement even more. Every birthday I’m granted on this earth, is a true blessing. I get to walk among the living. The alternative to getting older is not an option for me, and I hope it remains true for a long time.

So when your birthday rolls around this year or next, don’t look at it as an awful day because you’re getting older. Celebrate because you survived. Be thankful to be older. Some people didn’t make it past your age, others didn’t make it to your age. Getting older and growing a gray hair or two (maybe more) is a true blessing. Celebrate your day! Celebrate with your love ones. You don’t have to have a party or do something big. Celebrate the way you see fit. Take comfort in the fact that you still breathe. That is literally the best birthday present of all!

Check Out the Source

Do you remember when you were in grade school? It’s been awhile for me, but I remember having to do book reports and research papers. When writing a book report there were certain points the teacher wanted you to cover, but most importantly you needed to list the title and the author. You couldn’t just write the summary without identifying what you were going to write about. The same can be said for a research paper. These are important throughout your academic career. I want to say high school was when I really learned about research papers. But it really started at a younger age, when I had to do reports on historical figures. When you’re in school working on these papers your teacher will instruct you to list your references or sources. This page is usually towards the back of your paper. If you use any of these sources in your paper, you must list what they are and where you found that information. Usually this is indicated by quotes, footnotes, bibliography or indicating the author specifically. No matter how you do it, you have to give the source credit. You need to indicate where your conclusions are coming from.

The importance of citing your references becomes increasingly important as you get older. You will do more research papers in college. Should you go on to pursue a master’s or PhD (professional degree), you will need these sources for your thesis or dissertation. Not indicating this information could lead to punishment in the form of a failing grade or being accused of plagiarism (if you copy the information without giving credit where it’s due). If it’s this important at the academic level, it should be the same when we receive any important information as an adult. I have recently come to enjoy documentaries. Usually when you watch this visual learning experience, they have experts in whatever field they are discussing . On top of that they will list any sources they pull information from. Sometimes after watching I will look up and read these sources to get more information, or gain a deeper understanding of what I just saw. Some people call it going down the rabbit hole. You get so intrigued that you need to know or learn more.

You may say “what’s the point of this?” Well my point is always look at the source. Look at data, look for truth. Especially when you’re talking about subjects that impact your life or well being. For instance , it’s helpful to watch a news program that gives statistics or present studies, when they are giving me important information. The beauty is they are giving you the source. Now you can go look up those sources, and even read that information for yourself. A good news program, will present the experts, the data and the source. They are giving you facts. If you are watching news where there is endless talking and no presentation of data that’s an opinion. While I know we gravitate to people that think like us on certain subjects, note that if they are not giving you data or a source that you are just listening to an opinion. That could be dangerous when it comes to things that could affect your way of living, your health and other aspects of your life. I employ you to find a news station, news paper, magazine article with facts, legitimate sources and valid data. A well respected new source will give you the facts, and if they get something incorrect they will retract that information. Key word is respected. Go research the sources they present in order to certify their validity for yourself. It saddens me that people put misinformation out there and people believe it (possibly putting their own lives at risk in the process.) What’s worse is when someone quotes an opinion based on the source, but they only mention part of it. They take that one part and use it to fit their narrative. When you present a source, make sure you read all of it. Not doing so could be presenting false information, or just outright lying. Lastly, there have been media institutions who have been around for years. If they give you the fact, present the data and provide valid sources for their information, don’t forsake that for random sources on the internet.

This piece is specifically my opinion of what I’ve observed recently. I do hope it encourages you to look for the truth, and not believe what any random person tells you about any given topic.

Celebrate the Differences

When I was younger I found this television show called The Puzzle Place. It was designed for preschool/elementary school kids, but I was a high school student when I discovered it. It was unlike any other show I had seen growing up. The Puzzle Place was about children (in the form of puppets) from various diverse backgrounds. The show set out to teach people about their traditions, history and culture. They would teach each other about the various holidays, music and family traditions. It had such an impact on me that I used it as an example for one of my school projects.

Today there is so much ignorance toward others because of their race, religion and other differences. Some are brought up in an environment that teaches them to hate others for no other reason than they don’t look, live or act like them. One of the most famous quotes from Martin Luther King is “ I have decided to stick to love…Hate is too great a burden to bear.” It takes so much energy to hate someone whether it’s based on race or any other reason. Take the time to learn about one another. You will find that we are more alike than we are different. Our differences make us beautiful and should be celebrated. They should not be used as an excuse to divide us.

It’s disappointing to see the hate and division in our country. People seem to believe in stereotypes or propaganda instead of taking the time to talk to others. Start the conversation. Take the time to learn from and about one another. Take the time to celebrate one another. Learn to love one another. I don’t know what children’s programs are out there to celebrate diversity in the way that Puzzle Place did (Sesame Street does encourage it), but teach your children that love is better than hate. Encourage them to learn, and not to alienate those who are different from them. Stand up for what is right, and teach them to do the same.

Smile…You’re In the Land of the Living

After work I decided to go to the grocery store to pick up a few items. I usually make a mental note or type a list into my phone, as it is so easy to stray and buy other items you don’t need. I walked in focused on what I needed to get, and then I proceeded to the check out lane. As I was paying for my groceries, the lady behind me was talking to the cashier. She said “Smile.” Then she turned to me and said “Smile..you’re in the land of the living.” As much as I didn’t want to…I smiled.

I’m used to walking around with a straight face, and having people tell me to smile. Usually it’s “smile..it can’t be that bad.” Sometimes it’s “smile…you look like you’re whole world just fell apart.” I usually just smile to please the person, but being irritated because I really didn’t want to do it. Being a bit self conscious it’s something I rarely used to do. I wondered why people were so intent on me smiling. I cannot speak for the motives of the other people who inquired about my stern face (maybe they were just worried about me), but it was clear this time was different. This lady reminded me that I have everything to be grateful for…I’m still here. To me that was a good reason to smile. Now I can’t say that I walk around with a huge smile on my face everyday, but I do take moments to be grateful. I smile about the opportunities and the good times I’ve had. If you actually take time to reminisce about the good moments in your life, there is no doubt in my mind that it will bring a cheery look to your face.

Though I know we still have tough moments in our lives, we can take comfort in that we will get through that trial or resolve that problem. If you are living and breathing there is still time. Some people did not have that chance. Some died before they could resolve an issue or live their dream. But you..you made it to a new year. You made it to 2018. There’s still time to get things right, to accomplish your goals, and live your dreams.

So smile..you’re still here…you’re in the land of the living!

Begin Again

There’s something special about starting over. A new year provides the perfect opportunity to set new goals to accomplish. For some that means joining the gym, starting a new business or career, or moving forward with a dream. I hope to accomplish at least one of my goals in 2016. That main goal is to spend more time writing. It’s something that I love to do, and enjoy sharing with others.

I’ve always enjoyed writing since grade school, and often cherished those moments when we could write our thoughts in daily journals. Over time I would write whenever I was inspired to do so, but was never consistent about it. It was only a few years ago, through encouragement that I decided to pursue this desire further. Since then I’ve been writing short stories for friends, and creating poetry from a friend’s Twitter hashtags. It’s a great challenge for me.

This blog will be an even greater challenge. I’ve struggled over which topics to pursue, as I am passionate about many different subjects. My main goal is to inspire and encourage you. I hope to share my love of writing, and other topics of interest. Even as I write I’m terrified as to whether or not I can truly make this a success, but I am going to give it a try. I hope that 2016 will inspire you to accomplish everything that you want to do. It’s the perfect time to begin again!

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